A Cry For Help

Dear heavenly Father,

The bird that was chirping…I couldn’t quite tell for sure…but it sounded like it was in distress. I couldn’t see it anywhere, but I heard it. And…it reminded me that you hear everything. And not a single sparrow falls to the ground without your consent.

O, Lord…I, like that bird, need help. Please. (weeping)

I pray, and my eyes moisten, and my vision becomes blurred, and I’m reminded, again, of how little I know. I can’t even see myself walk, let alone, know where…or how to find respite. Please, take me under your wings, and show me tenderness? If not now, when you’re ready, Lord? In season, perhaps?

The ache, Lord – it’s so strong. The longing, feels unbearable…and yet I know that you bore all of my sin hanging, only by nails pounded into a tree through your tender Holy flesh – your Beloved body. I long to be held by that Body. Please Lord, hasten the Day, when you’re ready.

The sun is shining, and yet everything feels so very dark to me. Words that usually cheer, fall flat. I am reminded, again, that You and You alone sustain all things, even each and every breath I take now as I try and suck air. My heart, you sustain with fresh supplies of blood, with every beat, all while keeping it tender, spiritually. I am nothing without you. Even though it feels dark, You shine bright. Just like when the clouds hide the sun, the sun is still shining. Please help me to remember that, Lord.

I fail, Lord, and fail again. And with each failure, your strength is made known in my weakness. And, your grace, delivered with a fresh supply of mercy, shines bright, and your glory is revealed to be even more majestic than thought possible. May my weakness, somehow, give You the deserved glory you require. May it be an expression of my love back to you, somehow. Please, Father? Please, let it not be wasted.

I feel like the young Maple tree, Lord…and I, foolishly try and measure my height and diameter every day, hoping, desperately hoping to see progress or…something, anything. But I’m reminded, again, that your ways are not my ways, and you keep many things hidden, especially the most precious, sacred things…the things you treasure most. And so, in faith, I hope O, Lord, that your Will is being accomplished and nothing is being wasted.

My mind, my body, and my soul are yours, Lord. Do with them as you please. May my life be a living sacrifice of love to you. I know I cannot give you anything you don’t already have…but I still, desperately, want to show You love and love your precious people well. Lord, help me, please.

I…am hungry Lord. Please open your hand and satisfy my desire in season. I put all my hope, all my trust, everything I have in your care.

You are my God. You are faithful and true. Your steadfast love endures forever and ever. I give you all praise, honor, and glory for as long as I live.

I am yours.

I love you.

Please help me.

Amen.