Fullness
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
-1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)
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You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
-Psalm 16:11 (ESV)
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For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.
-John 1:16 (ESV)
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For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts though faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
-Ephesians 3:14-19 (ESV)
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For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell…
-Colossians 1:19 (ESV)
O, beloved.
I feel empty sometimes. Like now, when I’ve cried out all my tears, and it feels like there’s nothing left in me.
I’ve confessed my ungratefulness, my self-pity, my shame, my slowness to repent, my foolishness, my hypocrisy, my continual failings. I’ve told Him (yet again) of my fear, and how I loathe myself for not trusting His will and His ways. I’m much less like a dim-witted sheep, beloved, and much more like the slithering serpent than I care to admit, do you know? There is nothing good in me apart from our Lord, beloved. Without Him, I am merely an empty shell.
I feel like an empty shell just now. Fragile and tossed about by the waves rolling over me.
But beloved?
It seems like…perhaps, He is about filling that which is empty, yes?
He filled the empty baskets to overflowing with the bread and fish leftover, did He not?
He filled the water jugs with wine?
He filled the empty banqueting hall with guests?
He filled the barren womb with child?
He filled the entire universe with His glory, yes?
And He Himself isn’t empty.
He is full.
Full of love. Of life. Of holiness. Of joy. Of grace. Of maturity and perfection.
And it’s from Him that we receive all these things, isn’t it, beloved?
He delights to fill us, too? With His Spirit, to sustain and comfort and strengthen us? So that we aren’t left alone, not truly? Is that right, beloved? Please tell me? {more tears - not quite empty yet!}
He wants to fill us with all that He is, I think…could that possibly be?! That He wants to fill us with all of His love, life, holiness, joy, grace, maturity, perfection? That He wants us to join in the loving song of the Trinity that has been sung since before Time existed? Does He?! Does He want us to know Him intimately, even as He knows us so? Does He truly want to give us All Things? All Things?! Fill us with All that is Good? Is that why it seems like He’s working so hard to empty us here, beloved?
I don’t like being empty, feeling like this.
But beloved? For Him, I will bear every pain and heartache. Just like for you, I will bear every pain and heartache. It’s worth it. He’s worth it. You’re worth it.
If I know, without a doubt, that He will fill us to the fullness of Himself One Day — I am willing to be empty now. Willing to be without both my Beloved and my beloved, in part.
I will trust Him to complete the work which He has begun. We will do so Together, will we not?
Weak and empty vessels now, here. But O, beloved! There! We will be filled to overflowing, beyond all Time and measure! May we wait for that Great Day, gladly, Together, now and always.
Amen.