Playful Conformity: Pressing in to Love
“Consider the simplest drive: curiosity. When we’re curious about a subject, doing the hard work to learn more about that subject doesn’t feel like hard work. It requires effort, for certain, but it feels like play.
—The Art of the Impossible (Steven Kotler)
...then I was beside him, like a master workman, and I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always.
—Proverbs 8:30
O, beloved!
I…hardly know how to begin. And yet, I feel compelled to try nonetheless. (timid)
I’m not sure why…but to try and craft words articulating thoughts and feelings—a whole host of mix up emotions: hopes and fears, inexplicable joy!—on the subject of what I can best describe as ‘playful conformity’, it…overwhelms me.
Not so much because of its magnitude and elusiveness or even because of it’s complex and seemingly unattainably conceptualization. No, it has more to do with the fact of it being a topic of sacred purity and…preciousness to me. It…feels holy.
And so I…approach it humbly, with awe and reverence. It…feels as though…I’m a young boy, a pre-adolescent, striving to get just a glimpse of two young lovers passionately—playfully—kissing one another. Or…rather, perhaps more properly, more correctly…peering into the very essence of the inner-workings of divine Love.
I reference the quote above from The Art of the Impossible, because, for me, and I venture for you as well, curiosity has a marvelous way of transforming anything, even strenuous labor, into something exciting and fun! Yes. But…there’s something uniquely special and near and dear to my heart when I consider the word ‘play.’
To play, or…even better said, to ‘be playful’, is…(reverent) so very beautiful to me.
It, I feel, utilizes every good personal God-given trait: curiosity, vulnerability, trustfulness, hopefulness, giving of one’s self to another, adventure, exploration, learning, craftsmanship or…some form of excellence (mastery, maturation, etc.), gratitude, thankfulness, joy, affection, love, and many many other beautiful things of which I cannot even put into words.
One can be playful, independently, I…suppose. Although, even so, I would argue it’s a…sort of dance between ones own body, mind, and spirit. Better—infinitely better—is to be playful with someone else.
It…brings tears to my eyes when I even try to behold it, in its purest form, in my mind and heart. It…feels as though we only see its shadow here on this earth, or perhaps…the shadow of the shadow of its very splendor.
I…could probably talk of ‘playful’ for all of eternity and not even begin to come close to exhausting or realizing it’s beauty…but truthfully, and perhaps…appropriately—especially concerning our current state of reality here on this earth: seeking to glorify God as sinful creatures, following and honoring King Jesus with glad obedience, leaning hard into faith, accepting God’s grace, submitting to God’s overwhelming mercy, etc. etc. etc,—I must…hastily speak of ‘conformity.’—I must.
One could—aye, one often does, including myself—discover the mysterious and lovely beauty of ‘playful’ and decidedly go no further. One might venture to say: “Ah, I have arrived!” and take comfort in the bliss and comfort—the pleasures and pleasantries of all it provides.
However, that, I feel, is akin to catching a whiff of some perfectly roasted meat, deeply breathing in its delightful aroma…but never putting lips upon it, never taking it in to one’s self—not tasting its savory goodness, not fully enjoying its scrumptious and nourishing qualities. I…lack proper words, but hopefully you get the point.
The ‘playful’ in play, the…smell in perfectly grilled meat, it’s but an invitation to a…(teary, reverent) beautiful union of divine conformity: Love.
Conformity ye say? Aye, conformity. (tender) I suppose…(pondering) you could use other words, words like obedience, or acquiescence, or allegiance, or assenting, or consenting, or conventionality, or docility, or resignation, or submission, or willingness…however, I like ‘conformity’ best.
Why? Because it feels more…unified, more Together, more…operating as One. To conform means to be similar in form or type. Yes—that, please? I want that, pretty please? (hopeful)
And so…I’d like us to consider the Proverbs 8:30 passage, Together, please? It…is…so beautiful and intriguing to me. The ‘I’ in that verse is Wisdom, herself, speaking. She’s professing her delight in God. The Hebrew word for ‘rejoicing’ in that ESV translation, is שׂחק (sah·hawk). It means: laugh; amuse; be merry; joke; provide amusement; play, dance; struggle; fight—according to the The Hebrew and Aramaic Lexicon of the Old Testament (HAL).
Wow—what a beautiful, and complex mix of attributes! There’s so much variety, so much contrast, even in this one word, yes?
It’s…strange, perhaps, for us…to think of Wisdom as a person. We typically think of wisdom as a…morality, it seems. I find it fascinating, though, that here, it’s…not just a ‘thing’ or an ‘idea’ or a ‘way of living’ or…whatever, it’s a person, therefore it’s…relational.
My mind wanders throughout Scripture…and the Spirit recalls to my memory other such examples where what normally isn’t considered to have emotions or…personal attributes does—the Joel 2:21 passage, how God speaks of the land: He encourages it not to fear and instead to rejoice and be glad. What? Does land fear? Can land rejoice and be glad? (my heart in awe and wonder—marveling) And how about the Isaiah 55:12 passage—God prophesies: “…the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” Oh, my! And…there are so many other examples all throughout God’s precious Words, yes?
It’s…humbling, and makes me awe and wonder, and my mind and heart wander too in imagination, as if I were an explorer. I…think to myself: what if everything He created has some kind of…intimate, personal, relationship with Him? The things we see around us aren’t ‘just’ bits and pieces of lifeless matter, they’re not ‘just’ atoms and molecules without any sort of purpose beyond what is perceived by our limited perspective—our shallow point of view. They too, are…in a way, engaged in some kind of playful never-ending dialogue with their Creator.
Okay (ahem), so we have lots of examples, and…perhaps I got a little sidetracked there, but I’d like to try and come back to this idea of ‘playful conformity’, please? Thank you. (grateful for your compliance)
For one to engage in playful-like communion—for one to press in to Love…it…can be exciting, but rather terrifying.
Let me explain.
If playful activity involves all those characteristics as I’ve mentioned above, and I believe it does, there’s a certain kind of ever-increasing amenableness—an intensifying surrender. There’s a constant, continual exchange. It’s like…(sigh) my mind and heart feel so inadequate to find anything comparable to help illuminate such beauty. However, I’ll run with what first comes to mind.
This is a poor example, as I feel it only gets at about 3% of what I hope to realize…but alas, I shall endeavor to do my very best. It’s like…(pondering)
…it’s like a tiny mustard seed, timidly approaching the heavens: the sun, the clouds, the storm.
She’s…terrified; she hasn’t the slightest clue of what’s required of her, and furthermore she is beautifully oblivious to her glorious potential. It’s as if she says to the Heavens, “Here I am, do with me as you please, sir; I am yours.”
Even with this limited analogy, we must be careful. As I’ve described things thus far, it appears as if she’s taking initiative, but that’s naive and preposterous. She is a beautifully and wonderfully made product of God; she is merely responding to her realized position—her subjection to God’s design. She is loved. And therefore Love, invites…nay demands a response. And so she gives one.
This simple, volatile act—this—is…(long pause) beautiful beyond words to me.
We are privileged, of course, to know what is required and what is possible for this precious little seed. We know her fate, if you will.
We know she is to be placed in cold dark soil. We know God will use the heavens and the earth to provide all that she needs. We know she will undergo the process of imbibition—water will fill her. We know this water will then activate enzymes which will cultivate growth. We know she will then produce a single root, at first, and then more and more will multiply—she’ll be ‘forced’ to go down before she can seek and obtain that which is Above. The roots will find moisture in the soil, they’ll allow her to sprout shoots that will extend upward. These shoots will lead to tiny leaves, which will gladly soak up the sun and begin the process of photomorphogenesis.
All of that said, this is ‘only’ the very beginning. The maturation—the glorious and magnificent tree she’ll become, providing shade and rest for birds of the air, nutrients, and countless other benefits to God, man, and beast—are…incalculable and beyond our capacity to valuate.
Even with this humble analogy, as limited as it may be in estimation, can, I hope, provide a glimpse into what’s at stake. Is this little mustard seed engaging in playful conformity? Is she…dare we say, pressing in to Love? Yes, I believe so. She is willingly subjecting herself to a good and gracious God. She is intimately endeavoring to be relational. She’s joyfully—although I’m sure nervously (can joy be void of nervousness, I wonder?)—choosing to play, play the part she’s been given, be who He created her to be, trust…no entrust herself to her Creator with wholehearted vigor.
This all reminds me of the question raised by Susan to Mr. Beaver in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: “Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”…“Safe?” said Mr Beaver ...“Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”
Indeed. And so it is for us also, as we respond.
Everything suggests…we too, will be placed in the dark soil, beloved. Perhaps we’re there, in part, already and not yet. What will come of us? What will it be like? Will we rejoice alongside Wisdom as we sit, stand, and run alongside Him? Will we daily, be His delight? Are we…willing to subject (I use this word as I lack a better one) ourselves to Love in playful conformity?
How does one accomplish this? What does it…look like—practically speaking—here, and now?
It…may feel strange, it may be uncomfortable at times. We may stumble and fall. That is, in part, it seems all part of play. We’re being conformed to His very likeness. We’re undergoing a transformation, like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly.
I think…(pondering) it begins with heartfelt honest prayer. As for the rest, well…what fun would it be if we knew precisely what to expect? (playful) Where’s the fun in that?
Come, beloved—let’s press in to Love, Together. He made you; He made me. Let us look to Wisdom as our guide; let us say to our Creator with one accord: “Here I am, do with me as you please, Sir; I am yours.“