The Fork in the Road

Sometimes we have to “step over” our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the “offended one,” “the forgotten one,” or the “discarded one.” Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on.

– Stepping over Our Wounds - January 9th - Bread for the Journey (Nouwen)

Well, well, well…what do we have here? (said with some surprise, and a tad bit of reluctance, mixed with angst)

Oh, you again. (deep breath)

I know you.

Take your pick: rejection, jealousy, fear…

They will come, beloved. All of them. Some, will even have the nerve to kick you, scratch at you, and bite you while you’re already down and vulnerable.

At times, they’ll taunt you, provoke you, and even laugh at you. They’ll question you, and prod you for answers.

Sometimes, if you’re quick on the draw, or if you have an ounce of reserve left to your wit, you’ll be able to muster up some kind of response.

Sometimes, by the grace of God, your pride will already be deflated and you’ll, relieved, let the Holy Spirit do His mighty work on your behalf.

But, other times, you’ll crumble. You’ll start doubting. You’ll begin to wonder. You’ll…pause, confounded, confused, afraid.

And, beloved? You have a choice. A very, very, very important choice to make.
Slow down, take a deep breath, and say a prayer. You cannot do this alone. Not without Him guiding you.

You’re at a fork in the road, O my soul. You must choose which way you’ll go. Choose wisely, beloved. Tread carefully, deliberately. This is no time for haphazard foolishness.

Let God’s truth prevail. Every. single. one. of these forces of evil are riddled with lies, beloved. You must determine which thoughts you’ll believe to be true.

You’ve had these thoughts before. You’ve been tried and tested. Do you remember? Where did the lies take you? Did they set you free? Or, did they lead to destruction? Aye, destruction. (said solemnly)

And, where did God’s truth take you? It delivered you, yes? Yes.

When you test His promises…try them on for size, lean upon them…do they hold? Are they able to deliver? Yes.

O, beloved! (said gently) Don’t despair! Don’t lose hope! Don’t dilly-dally in this!

Don’t let these lies deceive you. Don’t let them take you off course. Not this time.

This time, no such turmoil will succeed. No sir. With God’s grace, may it rather serve to strengthen and embolden your faith! Yes. This will be yet one more proven victory of God’s faithfulness and His will reigning supreme!

Choose truth, beloved. Do not entertain these deceptions. They will fizzle out and fade without fuel. They will be proven as fraudulent when Light, one Day, comes to make ALL things visible.

Come! said Jesus’ sacred voice,
Come, and make my paths your choice,
Weary pilgrim, hither come!

Thou, who, houseless, sole, forlorn,
Long hast born the proud world’s scorn,
Long hast roamed the barren waste,
Weary pilgrim, hither haste!

Ye, who tossed on beds of pain,
Seek for ease, but seek in vain;
Ye, whose swollen and sleepless eyes
Watch to see the morning rise.

Ye, by fiercer anguish torn,
In remorse for guilt who mourn;
Here repose your heavy care!
Conscience wounded who can bear?

Sinner, come! for here is found
Balm that flows for every wound;
Peace that ever shall endure;
Rest eternal, sacred, sure.

– Mrs. Barbauld (1825)

Friendship

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories. It is a bond stronger than sexual union can create, deeper than a shared fate can solidify, and it can be even more intimate than the bonds of marriage or community. Friendship is being with the other in joy and sorrow, even when we cannot increase the joy or decrease the sorrow. It is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love. Friendship makes all of life shine brightly. Blessed are those who lay down their lives for their friends.

– The Gift of Friendship - January 7th - Bread for the Journey (Nouwen)

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Friendship is the deep oneness that develops when two people speaking the truth in love to one another, journey Together to the same horizon.

– Timothy Keller

Psalm 30:11-12

Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: Thou hast put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness. To the end that my glory may sing praise to Thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto Thee for ever.

– Psalm 30: 11-12 (KJV)

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Strength of the still secluded thought,
That fears, yet longs, its joy to show, –
The hope, the awe, in mercy taught
To make me strong, to keep me low;
Now shall my girded heart rejoice,
In praise poured out, in love expressed;
Now will I bless Thee, with a voice
That shall not break this sacred rest.

Once, moved by every mortal pain,
By every pleasure quickly past,
I feared to speak in joyful strain
Of hidden life that might not last.
Now, from a well that will not fail,
In Thee my deep rejoicing springs –
Now, from Thy rest within the veil,
My spirit looks on passing things.

Once, with Thy tired ones homeward bent,
In hope that rose their fears above,
My leaping heart could be content
To greet them with a silent love;
I too had walked with weary feet,
And heard the exulting shout too near –
I too had felt the toil and heat,
The wind and storm I did not fear.

Perhaps the Heavenward look in store,
The speechless prayer for strength or rest,
Might help those needy spirits more
Than hope set forth, or joy expressed.
But I was changed, I knew not how,
By the same love that chose their ways, –
I might be just as weary now,
And yet rejoice to hear Thy praise.

Now would I cheer the faint in heart
With sound of joy they too shall see;
Now would I put the fear apart,
That bids me hide Thy strength in me.
What though the mortal flesh be frail,
The willing spirit prone to sink –
There is a stream in Baca’s vale,
Whereof Thy feeblest child may drink.

Some, in their sorrow, may not know
How near their feet those waters glide –
How peaceful fruits for healing grow,
And flowers for beauty by their side.
They may not see, with weeping eyes
Upon the dreary desert bent,
How glorious straight before them, lies
The Eden of their soul’d content.

But, O my Savior, I can see
For them, what once for me was seen;
I know, whate’er their sufferings be,
The tender mercy which they mean.
I do not watch, with anxious care,
To see the end of their distress –
Thou knowest what the heart must bear,
The human heart which Thou wilt bless.

And in their daily deepening need
Of heavenly love, for strength or rest,
They are already blest indeed –
Yea, and much more they shall be blest.
Wrapt in the spirit of Thy praise,
As from Gerizim’s height, I see
Blessing poured out on all the ways,
That prove Thy children’s need of Thee.

O wondrous love, so strong to smite –
So meek the opposing will to tame!
It was Thy hand put forth in might,
That led me through the flood, the flame.
When, needing strength to bear Thy rod,
By the smooth stream I found repose,
It was Thy grace, All-seeing God,
Thy love that smote me, ere I rose.

How could I look for lengthened rest,
With Thy deep sufferings scarcely known,
Or lay forever on Thy breast,
The perfect heart which Thou wilt own?
The heart, that guilty of Thy woes,
Looks only upon Thee to mourn,
And feels the cross Thy love bestows,
A burden easy to be borne.

And yet that pause was not in vain –
It was a blessing meet to give
Strength, for the labor and the pain,
Whereby alone my soul might live.
How gently thence Thy mighty hand
My lingering spirit onward bare!
How precious, in a barren land,
The footprints of Thy people were!

There many hearts that knew Thy ways
The safety of my soul could see –
And there I heard the song of praise,
That Faith poured out to Heaven for me.
Oh, more than all the ease I sought,
That song the desert path could bless –
And dearer in my deepest thought,
The love that met me in distress.

Now that Thy mercies on my head
The oil of joy for mourning pour, –
Not as I will my steps be led,
But as Thou wilt for evermore.
Henceforth, whate’er my heart’s desire,
Fulfil in me Thy own design,
I need the fountain and the fire –
And both, O King of Saints, are thine.

Now that my sense of rest in Thee,
Rules over every rising fear,
Pain, pleasure, all I feel and see,
Thy counsels to my soul endear.
Now can my girded heart rejoice,
In praise poured out, in love expressed –
Now may I bless Thee, with a voice
That shall not break this sacred rest.

– Anna Laetitia Waring (1823 - 1910)

Fruits That Grow in Vulnerability

There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. and fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another’s wounds. Let’s remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.

– January 4th - Bread for the Journey (Nouwen)

O, beloved, take these words to heart, please. You’re so quick to become discouraged when you perceive your delicate position. But, He takes that which is malleable and creates beauty and glory. Don’t lose hope. Your weakness, beloved, is but a mirror in revealing His strength, His power, His glory. What a privilege to be used as such. Aye!

O, child! You make a complete disaster of things in the kitchen and you lament over your doings. But, maybe…just maybe, the mess isn’t what you perceive it to be? What do you really know, O little one? You think you know, but you do not know what He knows. What you do know is: you are needy. You are verily needy, indeed. Take comfort, your neediness is a blessing. It has brought you closer to His loving arms, yes? Yes.

O, heart! You are so very fragile, so tender, so meek and lowly. Cheer up! Your vulnerability, although you question its value, its significance…it, perhaps, is your most cherished quality. What did you expect (said so very gently)? You are no longer made up of stone: hard, cold, lifeless…you are now soft, tender, sensitive…you are flesh now! (Ezekiel 11:19) What a gift!

O, soul! You long for intimacy, yes? Yes. So then, become the best possible student in learning how to touch the very wounds of God. Attend your affections toward His Word. Seek to understand, feel, and suffer the self-same emotions of your Beloved. Soak up every word He has ever spoken, pour out yourself, and know Him. Ask Him to make you fruitful.

You are vulnerable, beloved.

Rejoice! Be glad!

Again, I say, rejoice!

The Comforter

I look to Thee in every need,
And never look in vain;
I feel Thy strong and tender love,
And all is well again:
The thought of Thee is mightier far
Than sin and pain and sorrow are.

Discouraged in the work of life,
Disheartened by its load,
Shamed by its failures or its fears,
I sink beside the road; –
But let me only think of Thee,
And then new heart springs up in me.

Thy calmness bends serene above,
My restlessness to still;
Around me flows Thy quickening life,
To nerve my faltering will;
Thy presence fills my solitude;
Thy providence turns all to good.

Embosomed deep in Thy dear love,
Held in Thy law, I stand;
Thy hand in all things I behold,
And all things in Thy hand;
Thou leadest me by unsought ways,
And turn’st my mourning into praise.

– Hymns of the Spirit

A Hope Deferred, Yet Sure

I will pour water on him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground.

– Isaiah 44:3

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Source of my spirit’s deep desire
For living joys that shall not perish,
The patient hope Thy words inspire,
Still let Thy tender mercy cherish.

On Thee my humbled soul would wait,
Her utmost weakness calmly learning,
And see Thy grace its way create,
Through thorns and briers which Thou art burning.

Gladly my inmost heart would know
The love that now it faintly traces,
And see the streams from Zion flow
O’er all its waste and desert places.

And still I hope – O not in vain!
I know, this holy seed possessing,
Thou wilt come down like gentle rain,
And make the barren ground a blessing.

– Anna Laetitia Waring (1823 - 1910)

My Soul Waits for God Alone

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

– Psalm 62: 5-7 (ESV)

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For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

– 2 Corinthians 5:1–10 (ESV)

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Your rest is not to be found in figuring your life out,
but in trusting the One who has it all figured out for your good and His glory.

– January 2 - New Morning Mercies (Paul Tripp)

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Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else. – Isaiah 45:22

God teaches his people every day, by sickness, by affliction, by depression of spirits, by the forsakings of God, by the loss of the Spirit for a season, by the lackings of the joys of his countenance, that he is God, and that beside him there is none else. And we must not forget that there are some special servants of God raised up to do good works, who in a peculiar manner have to learn this lesson.

– “Sovereignty And Salvation“ - The New Park Street Pulpit Vol 2 pg. 52 (C.H. Spurgeon)

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Continue steadfastly in prayer. – Colossians 4:2

It is interesting to consider how large a portion of the Bible is occupied with the subject of prayer, either in furnishing examples, enforcing precepts, or pronouncing promises. We scarcely open the Bible before we read, “People began to call upon the name of the Lord;” and just as we are about to close the volume, the “Amen” of an earnest supplication meets our ear. Instances are plentiful.

…

We have multitudes of commands, and myriads of promises. What does this teach us, but the sacred importance and necessity of prayer? We may be certain that whatever God has made prominent in His Word, He intended to be conspicuous in our lives. If He has said much about prayer, it is because He knows we have much need of it. So deep are our necessities that until we are in heaven we must not cease to pray.

…

Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus. It is the breath, the watchword, the comfort, the strength, the honor of a Christian. If you are a child of God, you will seek your Father’s face and live in your Father’s love. Pray that this year you may be holy, humble, zealous, and patient; have closer communion with Christ, and enter more often into the banqueting-house of His love. Pray that you may be an example and a blessing to others, and that you may live more to the glory of your Master. The motto for this year must be, “Continue…in prayer.”

– Morning and Evening: January 2 (Spurgeon)

O, beloved soul,

Myriads upon myriads of disturbances press their way into your consciousness - disappointments, fears, concerns, wants…

Some feelings, you cannot define - not successfully.

O, weary soul, call upon Christ Jesus to forbid entry. These distractions are not welcome here.

Quiet your heart. Be still, please. Hey now. There, there.

These feelings…do not lend your ear to them, beloved! Don’t let them take root. Deny them hospitality, even though you wish to pity them.

You are already occupied. His Spirit dwells within you! There’s no room for such annoyances. No, thank you.

Oh! You lack understanding? What is it to you? What could you possibly gain with such knowledge? You have already taken hold of the truth: you are God’s beloved child.

Beloved, we are God's children now. (1 John 3:2a)

Oh! You pity yourself? What is there to pity, beloved? You lack no good thing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10 NIV)

Oh! You doubt His goodness? O, beloved. He is good.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! (Psalm 34:8)

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind! (Psalm 31:19)

You are good and do good; teach me your statutes. (Psalm 119:68)

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! (Psalm 107:1)

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. (Nahum 1:7)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. (Psalm 86:5)

Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! (Psalm 106:1)

For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 100:5)

…keep reading, beloved, God’s Word. There are SO many more examples, if you would have them.

Trust in Him. Lean upon Him. May He be your rock, your refuge, your fortress. There is no other. He is God.

Finally, pray. Pour your heart out to Him, beloved. Continually. Fervently. Passionately. You pray to a living God! He hears your every word. He knows your every thought. You are safe with Him, beloved. He desperately loves you. Now, love Him! Wait upon Him, patiently, gladly. When storms come, when disappointments and hurts make your heart ache, press all the more earnestly into His pierced hands. They held Him on the cross for you. His hands are gentle, strong, and loving. Some Day, you will feel His hands placed upon your skin with words of comfort and joy. Those hands, that held Him there…they haven’t forgotten you. Remember, beloved the words of Isaiah 54:7,8:

For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD, your Redeemer.

Go in peace.

A New Years Morning Song

He hath put a new song in my mouth, even thanksgiving unto our God.

– Psalm 40:3

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Thanksgiving and the voice of melody,
This new year’s morning, call me from my sleep;
A new, sweet song is in my heart for Thee,
Thou faithful, tender Shepherd of the sheep;
Thou knowest where to find, and how to keep
The feeble feet that tremble where they stray, –
O’er the dark mountains – through the whelming deep –
Thy everlasting mercy makes its way.

The past is not so dark as once it seemed,
For there Thy footprints, now distinct, I see;
And seed in weakness sown, from death redeemed,
Is springing up, and bearing fruit in Thee.
Not all that hath been, Lord, henceforth shall be;
A low, sweet, cheering strain is in mine ear.
Thanksgiving, and the voice of melody,
Are leading in, from Heaven, a blest new year.

With voice subdued, my listening spirit sings,
As backward on the trodden path I gaze,
While ministering angels fold their wings,
To fill with lowly thoughts my song of praise.
The shadow of the past on future days,
Will make them clear to my instructed sight;
For the heart’s knowledge of Thy sacred ways,
Even in its deepest, darkest shades, is light.

I am not stronger – yet I do not fear
The present pain, the conflict yet to be;
Experience is a kind of voice in mine ear,
And all my failures bid me lean on Thee.
No future suffering can seem strange to me,
While in the hidden part I feel and know
the wisdom of a child at rest and free
In the tried love, whose judgement keeps him low.

Thanksgiving and the voice of melody!
Oh, to my tranquil heart how sweet the strain!
Father of mercies, it arose in Thee,
And to Thy bosom it returns again.
There let my grateful song, my soul, remain,
Calm in the risen Savior’s tender care;
And welcome any trial, any pain,
That serves to keep thy faithful children there.

Thoughts of Thy love – and oh, how great the sum!
Enduring grief, obtaining bliss for me;
The world, life, death, things present, things to come,
All swell the new year’s opening melody.
Past, present, future, all things worship Thee;
And I, through all, with trembling joy behold,
While mountains fall, and treacherous visions flee,
Thy wandering sheep returning to the fold.

– Anna Laetitia Waring (1823 - 1910)

All, All is Known to Thee

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.

– Psalm 142:3

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My God, whose gracious pity I may claim,
Calling thee Father, sweet, endearing name!
The sufferings of this weak and weary frame,
All, all are known to Thee.

From human eye ‘t is better to conceal
Much that I suffer, much I hourly feel;
But oh! the thought does tranquillize and heal, –
All, all is known to Thee.

Each secret conflict with indwelling sin,
Each sickening fear I ne’er the prize shall win,
Each pang from irritation, turmoil, din, –
All, all are known to Thee.

Nay, all by Thee is ordered, chosen, planned, –
Each drop that fills my daily cup; thy hand
Prescribes for ills none else can understand.
All, all is known to Thee.

Nor will the bitter draught distasteful prove,
When I recall the Son of the dear love;
The cup thou wouldst not for our sakes remove,
That cup he drank for me.

And welcome, precious can his Spirit make
My little drop of suffering for his sake.
Father, the cup I drink, the path I take, –
All, all is known to Thee.

– Adelaide L. Newton

Comfort, Where Are You?

O my beloved soul, (sigh)

What shall you do? When you seek comfort, and comfort is nowhere to be found?

Where do you go?

You cannot go back. No. There is no comfort to be had there. Not anymore. You have put that to death, have you not? Remember, beloved, Colossians 3:1-17?

Read it again, please.

Pray through it, once more. Please, beloved.

Here…I’ll try and help you.

–––

Dear heavenly Father,
I feel dejected.
I long to be held.
I long to be soothed.
I long to be comforted.

And…I feel confused.

I read in your Word,
Holy Spirit, your name is “Comforter”.
Can that be?
How?
Can you comfort me now, please?

I read in Isaiah 51:12 that you comfort, O God.
I believe your Word to be true.
I’m trying to walk by faith, Lord.

And yet…can I only receive this comfort now,
in faith?
Or…must I wait?

I suppose…you don’t say,
when, you will comfort.
Right? Yes.
You don’t say you will comfort,
immediately, do you?
No, I don’t think you do.

That’s enough of me though, and my feelings.
I think too much about me, anyways. (sigh)
I’m sorry, Father.

Paul tells me in Colossians 3,
that I need to reorient my perspective, yes?
I need to seek the things that are above.
Not the things here, on earth.

Is…me, longing to be held, soothed…
Are those all things I need to forget about now?
Or, do I just need to try and imagine,
somehow, receiving those comforts Then?
If so, please help me to do that, Father.

Now, my life is hidden in You, Lord?
Even my desires now, are hidden?
And my comforts are hidden, too, perhaps?
All of it is hidden, somehow?
Why do you say that it is hidden, Lord?
Is that a good thing?
Do you say it’s hidden because of faith?

I confess, Lord, I don’t understand. (sigh)
And, I’m trying not to despair.
I just…I need help, please.
Please, Lord, I desperately need your help.

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you”
Yes, Lord. I am trying…they seem quite dead.
I think?
But, please, make them even more dead.
Bury them forever, Lord.

And now, you know that I cannot be empty.
Now, I need to put on:
compassion,
kindness, humility,
meekness, and patience.
And, I am to bear with one another in love.
Yes, I know a little more about that, now.

And, I am to let your peace rule in my heart.
And, be thankful.
And your Word needs to dwell in me.
I’m trying Father, but please help me.

And I need to teach your wisdom,
and admonish others.
And sing songs with a thankful heart.
And do everything in your name.
And give you thanks.

O, Father!
My! That’s…a lot.
That will keep me plenty busy, yes?

My needed comfort, now, it seems less…
necessary? (pondering)
Or…I don’t know.

I’ll continue to wait upon you, Lord.
If you do wish to comfort me,
I know you will do so when the time is right.
Perhaps when there’s less work to do, yes?
Then you’ll give me comfort, Lord?

Either way, I won’t grasp after it.
No, I will not.
I will wait, with open hands.
I will not try and take, and fulfill my needs,
I will instead wait for you to give and provide.
I will continue to trust in you, Father.
Day by day.
Hour by hour.
Minute by minute.
Second by second.

I will put my trust in you, forever.
Please help me, Father.
My strength fails me.
(weeps)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. – 2 Corinthians 1:3–5 (ESV)

Father.
You are the God of all comfort?
All comfort?
Please help me to understand, or…
help me to forget?
Or, maybe you don’t want me to receive comfort?
Or, maybe I don’t really know what comfort is?

God, please help me.

If I receive comfort, then I can comfort others?
Is that what Paul is saying here?
Or maybe you will give me comfort
through others somehow?
I don’t know.

Save me, Father.
I am desperate for you.
Please satisfy me.

(pondering)

Actually, you were never really comforted here on earth.
Were you Father?
No, you were not.
Maybe that’s your answer to me.

Okay, I’ll wait.
Please help me to wait, gladly.

Amen.

I, even I, am, He that comforteth you.

– Isaiah 51:12

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Sweet is the solace of Thy love,
My Heavenly Friend, to me,
While through the hidden way of faith
I journey home with Thee,
Learning by quiet thankfulness
As a dear child to be.

Though from the shadow of Thy peace
My feet would often stray,
Thy mercy follows all my steps,
And will not turn away;
Yea, thou wilt comfort me at last,
As none beneath Thee may.

Oft in a dark and lonely place,
I hush my hastened breath,
To hear the comfortable words
Thy loving Spirit saith;
And feel my safety in Thy hand
From every kind of death.

O there is nothing in the world
To weigh against Thy will;
Even the dark times I dread the most
Thy covenant fulfil;
And when the pleasant morning dawns
I find Thee with me still.

Then in the secret of my soul,
Though hosts my peace invade,
Though through a waste and weary land
My lonely way be made,
Thou, even Thou, wilt comfort me –
I need not be afraid.

Still in the solitary place
I would awhile abide,
Till with the solace of Thy love
My heart is satisfied;
And all my hopes of happiness
Stay calmly at Thy side.

– Anna Laetitia Waring (1823 - 1910)

The Blessed State of Neediness

My dear beloved,

Are you restless?
Are you lacking?
Are you pining for something, someone?
Where is your mind taking you?
What is your heart feeling?
Are you anxious?
What is it, that you are striving after?
Are you needy?

Ponder these things.

Try to satisfy these questions with an answer, O my soul.

Why dost thou labor continually?

O, beloved…what spurs this insatiable desire to satisfy your want?

My dear child, be still. Quiet your heart.

You are needy. It’s okay. All is well.

This, yes, even this, is a precious gift from your heavenly Father.

Press your hands Together, and kneel before your Shepherd King. Remember the Psalm of David:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. (Psalm 27:1)

Oh! And, it’s okay if you don’t know what to say. It’s okay to lack, even in the asking, beloved.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. (Romans 8:26)

O, my soul! You want. You lack. You have need - verily so!

And, He shall provide.

So, be needy. Aye! Be as needy as you possibly can be! Reorient your life: give to the poor, live in reckless abandonment of all battlements - everything!/anything! you have manufactured as part of your security, your comfort, your attempt at provision…be rid of it, beloved. Be ruthless.

It’s all useless. No, worse than useless! Anything apart from the Lord, blurs your vision. Anything apart from the Lord, is counterfeit. Indeed. These things try to placate your cravings, beloved, but they cannot.

O, my soul, rejoice in your neediness!

Blessed are the poor in spirit. (Matthew 5:3)

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

Again, I say: Rejoice!

Ask

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

– Matthew 7:7–8 (ESV)

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If ye shall ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

– John 14:15 (KJV)

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My prayer to the promise shall cling –
I will not give heed to a doubt;
For I ask for the one needful thing,
Which I cannot be happy without.

A spirit of lowly repose
In the love of the Lamb that was slain,
A heart to be touched with his woes,
And a care not to grieve Him again –

The peace that my Savior has bought,
The cheerfulness nothing can dim,
The love that can bring every thought
Into perfect obedience to Him –

The wisdom his mercy to own
In the way he directs me to take, –
To glory in Jesus alone,
And to love, and do good for His sake.

All this Thou hast offered to me
In the promise whereon I will rest;
For faith, O my Savior, in Thee,
Is the substance of all my request.

Thy word has commanded my prayer,
Thy spirit has taught me to pray;
And all my unholy despair
Is ready to vanish away.

Thou wilt not be weary of me,
Thy promise my faith will sustain,
And soon, very soon, I shall see
That I have not been asking in vain.

– Anna Laetitia Waring (1823 - 1910)

O, beloved! Ye are so very timid; so shy. (said ever so gently)

Why?

Is it for lack of faith?
It is you who lack, not He! He is mighty to save. He is sovereign over all things. He is willing and able:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us. (Ephesians 3:20)

Is it because you feel too needy?
O, beloved. (said tenderly) He created you as such - take comfort! Your neediness is a blessed thing. It’s the antidote for apathy! Aye. Praise Him for your neediness, beloved. Praise Him!

As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. (Psalm 40:17)

Is it because you are fearful?
O, my soul. Have you forgotten the words of your God?

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Therefore, ask, beloved. Trust that He will answer your prayer. Hark!

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! (Matthew 7:11)

Indeed.

Ask, beloved.

He’s Coming!

And now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears we may have confidence and not shrink from Him in shame at His coming.

Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure.

— 1 John 2:28, 3:2-3

A Colloquy on Rejoicing

Remember, O my soul,
It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God;
He requires it of thee for all his favours of grace,
Rejoice then in the giver and his goodness,
Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.

He who is the ground of thy faith
should be the substance of thy joy.
Whence then comes heaviness and dejection,
when joy is sown in thee,
promised by the Father,
bestowed by the Son,
inwrought by the Holy Spirit,
thine by grace,
thy birthright in believing?

Art thou seeking to rejoice in thyself
from an evil motive of pride and self-reputation?
Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,
nothing to move God to be gracious
or to continue his grace towards thee.
If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.

Hast thou sought joys in some creature comfort?
Look not below God for happiness;
fall not asleep in Delilah’s lap.
Let God be all in all to thee,
and joy in the fountain that is always full.

– The Valley of Vision (pg. 153)