Why Pray? — O, Beloved!

“Why should I spend an hour in prayer when I do nothing during that time but think about people I am angry with, should write, and thousands of other silly things that happen to grab my mind for a moment?

The answer is: because God is greater than my mind and my heart and what is really happening in the house of prayer is not measured in terms of human success and failure.

What I must do first of all is to be faithful. If I believe that the first commandment is to love God with my whole heart, mind, and soul, then I should at least be able to spend one hour a day with nobody else but God. The question as to whether it is helpful, useful, practical, or fruitful is completely irrelevant, since the only reason to love is love itself. Everything else is secondary.

The remarkable thing, however, is that sitting in the presence of God for one hour each morning – day after day, week after week, month after month – in total confusion and with myriad distractions radically changes my life. God, who loves me so much that he sent his only son not to condemn me but to save me, does not leave me waiting in the dark too long. I might think that each hour is useless, but after thirty or sixty or ninety such useless hours, I gradually realize that I was not as alone as I thought; a very small, gentle voice has been speaking to me far beyond my noisy place.

So, be confident and trust in the Lord.”

- You Are The Beloved (Nouwen)

Dear heavenly Father,

I do love you with my whole heart, mind, and soul!

I, oftentimes, when I first approach you in prayer, feel so very…timid. I…sheepishly don’t know quite what to say - as you know. I usually start with simple things like: “O heavenly Father, I love you!” or “O Lord, you are so very good, so faithful, so tender, so loving!“ And then, I…fumble and stumble over my words, and try to confess my sins to you, plainly.

Sometimes I make myself laugh. And I think you must laugh with me too. Not a condescending sort of laugh, but a deep and joy-filled chuckle, as a father has towards his beloved son when he does something endearing, yet silly.

I cherish these times we have Together. Even when I sit or walk in silence and struggle to know what to speak out loud or in my mind to You. You are so very patient with me. You never rush me. I imagine You, calmy waiting for me. Waiting, while you hold the infinite and delicate complexities of this entire universe in the palm of your hand. Waiting with perfect peace, perfect love, perfect joy. Gladly. You, waiting for me?! O, Lord. How that humbled me. And yet, it fills my heart to overflowing with love-filled devotion and awe.

O, Father! My heart bursts with adoration for You! That’s what I know. I don’t know how to say it well, but…I’m learning, slowly. Besides, You already know, Father. You know all things.

I will joyfully continue to practice my ability to articulate my love for You, as long as You give me life and breath. I will press into You, I will rest my weary head upon your bosom. I will speak to you in faith. Even though I cannot see anything come of it, practically speaking. I will regularly pursue You, day and night, the One whom my heart loves. Though I cannot see You, I love You. (1 Peter 1:8) By faith, I will continue to put my hope in You, the unseen all-loving Savior. (Hebrews 11:1)

Thank you for giving me access to You in prayer, Father. What a tremendous gift you’ve given us.

You are my Beloved. And I am yours. I will put my trust in You.

Amen.